Today i brought her for a long walk. I needed to be alone, stop thinking and overthinking about things I can’t change. Because that’s what I do lately all the time: worry about things. What if something won’t go the way I want it to. What if my expectations won’t meet the reality. Then what?
I keep turning back to the past. Mistakes, wrong decisions…. what would happened if I made something differently. But it is the past. And it remains in the past. Somewhere I saw “Don’t look back, you’ll miss what’s in front of you”. And I try to look forward. Just because the past taps on your shoulder doesn’t mean you have to pay attention to it. Move forward. Live the life. Experience. Make mistakes. Just….fucking…live. Not that I believe that this is my only chance. I know that I am here now and will turn back over and over and over again. Just as I did before. But every single lifetime feels like an another given opportuity. I don’t want to just throw it away.
Growing is painful. There’s no doubt about it. But nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere where you don’t belong.
“Lilith Delacourte, Bratislava”