«I still do not quite understand whether this was violence. I was not beaten up or insulted in plain text. All his actions were neutral from an ethical point of view – I suffered from them only because I was in love with him.
He was my first. I said that I did not want sex but he continued. I lay beneath him as if I was dead, and he asked me, «Why are you making such a face? All men know that all women feel pain. I do not need a reminder «. He refused to use a condom. Then I said to myself for a long time that it was nothing serious. But his phrase hurt me even more when he said in the morning: «All women have terribly stupid faces».
I was terribly worried so this week I lost four kilograms. Finally, I broke down and decided to clarify the status of our relationship. It turned out that we cannot date, because I am too difficult. But I was dear to his heart and he felt bored with everybody else.
We have a dispute about feminism: he asked me to explain who oppresses women. I told him, and in response, I have heard all the usual stupid sexist comments. After that he stopped communicating with me – he stopped responding to my messages and greeting me. He removed me from friends with no explanation. It might seem from the outside that that was nothing serious but at the time I was in a terrible condition. For the first time in my life I could not eat or sleep, I self-harmed almost every day».
